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Hey Coastie, or I've Got (Way too Many) Coconuts

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  7/10 Complaints: Good Food, Terrible Coffee, Coconut, More Coconut, Surprise Coconut, Where Is All This Coconut Coming From, Wobbly Tables, Odd Timing, Play Area, Comfy Seating, Indoor/Outdoor  Mr Karenson and I treated ourselves to brunch at Hey Coastie, a fairly new little establishment with a beachy theme in keeping with its coastal location. This place is very cute with a warm interior setting. It also has a comfortable outdoor setting boasting cushioned seating and outdoor heaters for those cold nights when all your smoker friends insist on sitting outside even though it's below zero and you can see your breath, as well as a play area for parents to send their kids to blow off a birthday party's worth of sugar while they enjoy a well deserved espresso martini. We chose this place because it was far less busy than its counterpart Long Beach next door, which is always packed to the rafters with 40 minute wait times. One of the drawbacks of the outdoor setting is that the ...
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Midnight Shanghai

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  6/10 Complaints: Great Food, Great Drinks, Good Atmosphere, Pretty Lights, Aesthetic, Crap Karaoke, Suicide Threats, Concerns for Staff Mental Health, Rudeness, Blood, Panda, Run-In with Manager  Mr Karenson and I recently had the pleasure and privilege of taking a plane trip down South to spend some much needed time away with mates and see Queens of the Stone Age, who were straight up AMAZING and didn't disappoint.  We met up with Linda, Bob, Bill, Daryl, Arlene and Patrick for a weekend of sightseeing and getting obliterated on fireball champagne bombs. One of our first prerequisites for the trip was a beautiful dinner out at Midnight Shanghai, followed by drunken, wildly mixed skill karaoke. I'm a notoriously bad singer who in the past, has been told "never to open my mouth again" by a surely well meaning acquaintance, so was a little nervous about this last activity. Mr Karenson is basically Jack Black with a Kiwi accent so was really hyped for it. Midnight Shan...
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Boundary Tap & Kitchen

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  Rating: 4/10 Complaints : Fish Not Fresh, Slightly Overpriced Drinks, No Waffles, No Big Brekky, Healthy Options, Salads and Sunshine, Wasn't Bad Though, Great Looking Pizza, Beer Garden One sunny Saturday morning in the not so distant past, Mr Karenson bounded out of bed like an enthusiastic golden retriever in search and anticipation of a birthday brunch for our good mate Bill. I'm not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination so was a bit slower to drag my sorry carcass out of bed and head, sans makeup and without brushing my hair, to the Boundary establishment to meet Bill, Bob and Linda for a brunch in the sunshine. I think I've only eaten here once before and probably had pizza or something, which isn't a full representation of the food on offer here so would have been unfair to review based solely on pizza. Every pub seems to do pizza, probably as it pairs well with beers, takes the edge off the inevitable drunk munchies and surely saves a lot of bar s...
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Joe and Joy

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  Rating: 0/10 Complaints - Delicious, Great Food, Pies, Cookies, Donuts, Coffee, Bagels, Healthy and Greasy Options, Nice Staff and Good Vibes, Edible Flowers, Choice Joe and Joy is one of those cute little pastel themed cafes tucked safely away from the main drag, and located very conveniently next door to a supermarket, kids playground and a library. I get such old school and comfortable vibes from this place, the food is truly excellent and it's the kind of place you can just turn up in your jeans for a Sunday brunch and have a nice breakfast outside in the sun, I find a lot of places now are on the pretentious or overly upmarket side but this place just seems to be about good food and friendly service. I'm not going to say the service here is overly quick as they are often very busy, but all the times I've visited, the staff have been so nice that the wait doesn't become bothersome in the slightest. This is definitely the place to go, I guess, for a cup of joe and ...
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Salty's Diner, Sullied By Delivereasy

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  Rating: 3/10 Complaints - Misleading, Lack of Info, No Chips, Expensive, Arm and Leg, Had to Remortgage House, Diner Food, Stodge Hungover and entertaining family but too lazy  fatigued to cook anything, we made the dubious decision to order 3 burgers from Salty's Diner via the even more dubious Delivereasy service. My beef (ha) with Delivereasy is that they jack up the prices at least 25% above dine-in rates and then chuck on a delivery fee, so you often end up receiving cold, travel-sick, severely overpriced food that leaves you wondering why on earth you didn't just heat up some spaghetti and dino nuggets and call it a night. I realise there is always a tax for convenience but the recent experience with Salty's was enough to have me repenting of my slothful ways and begging for the forgiveness of my bank account. I personally am not a huge fan of Salty's as there are simply too many carbs on the menu. While it's true that you can order some very good cocktails ...
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Pizza Hut

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  Rating: 9/10 Complaints: Cold, Late, Average, Meh, Middling, Expectation was Low and Still Disappointed, Undercooked, Pale, 45 Minute Wait, Pizza Hut, Downhill since the 90s, No Dessert Bar Anymore  I don't seriously think anyone orders food from Pizza Hut expecting it to be fine dining, but our recent foray into ordering from Pizza Hut really took the cake (or should that be pie?) We normally go to Hell's or Domino's, both of which are perfectly fine and do the job (it is takeaway pizza after all, and you sort of have to approach it with an open mind, hungry belly and a low expectation). Pizza Hut, similarly to so many well-loved institutions fondly recalled by anyone old enough to remember Y2K and handkerchief tops, has taken quite a dramatic nose dive in terms of food, service and atmosphere over the past 25 years or so. For those who missed out by being born too late, Pizza Hut used to be completely different to what you see now. Once upon a time, a visit to Pizza Hut...
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China Beach Restaurant

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  Rating: 2/10 Complaints - Slow Service, Parlously Understaffed, Amazing Food, Sweet & Sour, Sizzling, Prawn Crackers, No Booze for Karen, Huge Fan, Chinese Food, BYO On Valentines Day this year, Mr Karenson and I tried out this restaurant with our mates Bob and Linda. These guys are great value, accompany us on a lot of food adventures and have introduced us to a lot of great restaurants so we went with their suggestion of China Beach. The place used to be located along the waterfront but has moved approximately 200m and is now tucked behind the beach shops next to the hulk of Brunch & Burger, which used to be another great restaurant until they replaced the menu with subpar fare and Spandau Ballet and eventually closed. RIP. I've heard it said that if a Chinese restaurant serves truly good food, they will most likely give all of their focus to the food and not fluffy things like the décor or service standards. This held true for China Beach, which had the pretty standard...
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